Reading the Secret History of Our Enemies: Lessons from 'Never Have I Ever'

Ah, high school—years when crushes are crushed, friendships are formed (and sometimes shattered), and arch-nemeses roam the halls. We've all been there, haven't we? The irresistible urge to gravitate toward pleasure and popularity while doing our best to dodge anything remotely unpleasant. It's like an unwritten rule of adolescence (that never really ends). But you have a choice in how you respond to the ebbs and flows of good news and bad news as well as difficult people.

The Netflix comedy/drama show, 'Never Have I Ever,' is a delightful window into the complex world of human relationships. I'm a bit behind on my binge-watching, currently in Season 1, where Ben Gross takes the stage as Devi's arch-nemesis. As famous poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow once said, "If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility." And that's exactly what we discover as we peel back the layers of Ben's character.

In one of the episodes, we get a sneak peek into Ben's life that goes beyond the typical nemesis façade. It's like discovering a hidden treasure chest of vulnerability beneath that tough exterior. We see that Ben, like all of us, carries his own share of loneliness and insecurities. And it's precisely these vulnerabilities that often drive people to compensate through less-than-stellar behavior.

Let's be clear: this doesn't justify or make their bad behavior acceptable. However, it does open a window into understanding that beneath the bravado and snark, there's often a person yearning for acceptance and connection. Someone who is just a perfectly imperfect human.

When, for the first time, Ben and Devi lower their defenses and create a safe space for vulnerability, something magical happens. They begin to see each other as more than just arch-nemeses. They start to recognize the shared human experience that unites them. This realization is nothing short of revolutionary in a world where high school rivalries can feel as epic as ancient feuds. It reminds us that empathy can bridge even the widest of gaps, turning adversaries into allies.

So, what's the key takeaway from all of this? Well, it's that beneath the surface of those you might consider your arch-nemesis, there lies a story, a history, and a set of struggles that you might never have imagined. And while it doesn't excuse any bad behavior, it does open a door to understanding. The next time you find yourself face-to-face with your version of Ben Gross, remember that you may just be able to disarm their hostility and find a common ground that transcends rivalry. Who knows, you might even make a friend out of your nemesis, and that's a plot twist even the best teen dramas can't always deliver!