With our busy lives and numerous demands, it's easy to feel overwhelmed by expectations and judge ourselves for not living up to the impossible standards of perfection. However, mindfulness teaches us that these judgments are simply thoughts in our mind. By embracing kindness, we can move away from self-criticism and embrace ourselves fully, accepting both the good and the bad.
To begin, find a comfortable posture, whether sitting, standing, or lying down, and establish a sense of stability and dignity. Close your eyes or soften your gaze, and let go of any worries or concerns. Take a moment to focus on your breathing, and invite your mind to be curious instead of critical, even if it’s just a smidge, just 1% more. With practice, you can shift your perspective, even just a little bit. For now, you can appreciate that you’re here doing this, even if some parts of you don’t want to be.
It can be difficult to fully accept ourselves, so it’s best to start where it’s easier, let's start with someone else. Bring to mind someone you deeply care about and find easy to love or easy to wish well. This person likely has their own struggles and feelings of inadequacy, just like you do. Notice any thoughts, emotions, or sensations that arise when you think about them having a hard time.
Perhaps you feel a little uneasy or sad when you think about this dear person having a rough time. Or maybe you feel the urge to reassure or encourage them. Regardless of what arises, try to observe your arising thoughts and feelings with curiosity.
Radical kindness is the antidote to self-criticism. So let's try offering this person some words of self-acceptance. You may choose to place your hand over your heart as a symbol of support and care.
"May you allow yourself to be imperfect.
May you accept yourself just as you are.
May you trust that you are enough right now.
May you remember that there are people who care about you."
Now, let's do a bit of a u-turn, and try practicing these words on ourselves.
"May I allow myself to be imperfect.
May I accept myself just as I am.
May I trust that I am enough right now.
May I remember that there are people who care about me."
Take a moment to notice how these words feel for you. Whatever you experience is okay. Sometimes, accepting ourselves can be easy, and other times, it can be challenging. Let's repeat the phrases again and notice any thoughts, emotions, or sensations that come up.
Take a moment to pause and reflect. If any stories came up during this meditation, feel free to let them go. Turn your attention back to your body and focus on your breathing. Inhale, knowing you're breathing in. Exhale, knowing you're breathing out.
Maybe practicing this act of kindness towards yourself was nourishing, or perhaps there was some difficulty in connecting with these phrases. Whatever your experience, meeting self-judgment with kindness is a practice that gives us the space to accept ourselves fully over time.
As we finish our practice, gently open your eyes if they were closed, and take a moment to return to your surroundings. Thank you for practicing self-acceptance through kindness. May it be of benefit to you and those around you. Be well.